I like to start every letter for you in this way because it was the phrase you told me when I sent you the first message, for your birthday. When I read these two simply words, I thought my heart could exploded.
I sent you thousand letters, anyway. Not only that one you received, but many others. Pages and pages of letters that you will never read or receive but for me are a way to go on, well... try to go on.
It's difficult, quite impossible. Sometimes I wake up on morning and I'm okay, I don't think about those aquamarine eyes and all the rest, sometimes seems that I have really forgotten you... But then I dream to kiss you while the sun goes down in the beautiful landscape of Kalemegdan where we were together (the first place you brought me when I came in Belgrade, the one I loved more), or be embraced by you in your bed where we slept together for three unforgettable nights, or I immagine just to hear your voice, your funny and sweet voice that I adore (as all the rest that belongs to you).
I heard it say that it's impossible to forget the first love. You aren't my very first love, there's another one I loved before you, but you're the first I loved in every way possible, without filters or brakes but unconditionally.
When we met, it was the summer of "All Of Me" and I loved and gave to you all of me, literally.
I love(d) you more than I ever thought to be able to do.
I spent too much nights crying after your answer to my letter, I felt the distance between us as a knife in my heart, I saw your picture with another girl and noticed how you were fine and happy and totally far from me, not just physically but above all mentally and it killed me.
I didn't want to go again in Greece because I was afraid to suffer again, but I changed my mind and I came back in that beautiful country where two years ago we met. And I went out with another slavic guy just to try to forget you, but I failed. He didn't mean nothing to me, he was just a slavic 29 years old guy I met in Greece, with beautiful green eyes and the sound of the voice so similar to your voice, he was just someone who had my body for some nights while my head and my heart were somewhere in Bahamas where were you. My handsome Serbian lover.
Today I was thinking about you, I don't know why, I just did; so I posted on Facebook "I'm Yours" because it's the song that more reminds me of you for all the afternoons in the swimming pool of that resort when you played it and than came to talk with me. Then I saw your pic of Kalemegdan and I reminded everything and the pain came again.
I told you in that letter, I cannot and - above all - I wont forget you. Sure, I can love someone else and a part of me hopes to fall in love again soon, but honestly another part of me will always wish to have another chance with the guy with the eyes of the same color of the Eretria sea.
Because ја те волим, still. And I'm yours.
«Μη μου ζητάς να ξεπεράσω όσα ζήσαμε ως εδώ. Μη προσπαθείς, δε θα αλλάξω, θα σε θέλω όσο μπορώ Κάθε μέρα για `μας τους δυο.»
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