I won't give up

Hello Milan,
maybe I'm the only person who still writes letters, but what I want to say to you it's too long to write on What's App. I don't know how you will receive that letter, looking for your home address could make me be a psychopathic stalker to your eyes and I really don't want, and it is also very difficult... But I will find a way.
I know you don't want to talk about this, but I need it, so here I am to write you a letter.
I don't believe a lot in "destiny", but maybe I should: when my mother and I were looking for something to do last summer and at the travel agency, among the various options, they proposed us the Eretria Village, I wanted with all myself to go there. I don't know why, maybe because it was near to Athens and I really wanted to see it, but I didn't want to consider other options. I wanted to go to that resort, stop.
I haven't seen you immediately, the first night there was beach party and you were at the consolle so I didn't notice you and the day after was you day off. It happened the second night when Claudia took me on stage to partecipate to Mr. & Miss Eretria, I turned my head and I met your beautiful eyes and my heart lost a beat. You seemed interested too, but I don't want to be presumptuous, you were an animator and maybe it was your usual attitude. Anyway a part of me that I ignored asked myself why you had that effect on me. I continued to ignore it in the days after and I tried to move my attentions to someone else, even if every time you sat on my beach chaise to talk with me I was inexplicably happy and every time you touched me you caused me the creeps.
Then you started to ask me to meet you in the night after the show; you threw me in the pool and then you brought me chocolate to ask me sorry... And continue to pretend that I didn't feel something for you was stupid so I decided to meet you that night and then again the night when we made love.
It wasn't just an "infatuation for an animator", otherwise I never decided to have my first time with you. For this, leave you was the hardest thing.
But i never stopped to think about you. I wanted to see you again even if I didn't know how or when, I just knew it was quite impossibile. But I never gave up on this wish. Then you asked me to come in Serbia and I thought "hey, maybe he miss me as I miss him" and I did everything to come, even if maybe it was foolish, even if my parents didn't agree. But I had to.
I hadn't a plan, I could feel no longer the same feeling of last summer or you could be no more attracted to me, but I wanted to see you again anyway. And when I saw you in the airport my heart lost a beat and started beating faster at the same time. Nothing had change for me.
And be with you, visit you beautiful country, sleep with you and all the rest was wonderful, more than my expectations.
I told you that I love you and it wasn't a joke, I really do. And I know that when you asked me if we could find a way I answered that it is impossible, but I was scared, above all for my strong feelings for you. When you told me about marriage and that you imagined how could our child be, I was scared, just because for the first time in my life I wanted it too. Ok, not now, but in a future (with you) yes.
I don't really think it's impossible even if I know it's hard, but I waited for you for seven months and I never stopped to think about you and to believe that we could see again and it happened.
It's hard, really hard and I know I could find someone else, but sincerely I don't want anyone else because no one will make me feel good like you, I know even that there are girls better than me, but if there is even the slightest chance, I WANT TO TRY.
Let's find a way, together. Maybe work together this summer and see how it goes, it could be a start. Please.
I won't give up because ti amo. (Yes, I say it in italian because in english "I love you" is both for the one you love that for a friend, instead "ti amo" is just for the one you love.)

I'm yours, Helda.